


No Promise

by hachoel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 16:03:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hachoel/pseuds/hachoel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Several months after Sam left, Dean visits Stanford.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Promise

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this fic on Sam/Dean Slash Archive (www.samdean.archive.nu/viewstory.php?sid=3499)  
> I re-post it here with a slight modification.  
> This fic includes a brief mention of their sexual relationship starting when Sam was underage, but it's not explicit. So there is no Archive Warnings for underage.

Dean’s blood runs cold as the realization hits him that his brother is leaving him - leaving for college. Despite all the love Sam has whispered to him in bed - well, that might have been a mere sex talk. But what about the silver ring Sam gave him? The ring that Dean has ever since worn on a necklace except for those few occasions when their dad is out of town hunting for days and they feel safe to spend nights in bed together naked, Dean wearing the ring on the third finger of his left hand, just to please Sam. Like yesterday. The goddamn yesterday. Dean glares at his brother, who just stares back at him with an expressionless face. “I can’t live this life forever, you know.” Sam’s voice gives away a touch of sadness seemingly despite himself. Sam’s face is set in determination not to show his feelings to his brother. No plea for Dean’s understanding or forgiveness. As if he knew nothing could ease the inevitable pain. Inevitable as long as he wants to have what he wants for his life.  
Dean tears the chain necklace off his neck, not caring the abrasion the biting chain is making on his skin, and threw it directly at Sam’s face. Sam doesn’t even blink, keeping his eyes on his brother’s face, still not allowing any emotions out.  
The corner of Dean’s lips twitches. He clenches his right hand into a fist, then after a pause, releases it, his face suddenly blank.  
Well, it’s just a ring. Meaning nothing. Just a piece of metal his infatuated teenage brother gave him - and made a frantic love afterwards. Only a sentimental crap no substantial words accompanying it. His brother never promised Dean anything. He has no reason to feel betrayed. Dean closes his eyes and breathes out, “You can do whatever you want. You wanna go to college, fine, just go.”  
Sam’s face flushes. His eyes shift from Dean’s face onto the nearest wall. Dean can see his brother’s eyes are now burning with guilt. Sam nods several times, biting his bottom lip nervously.  
Dean brushes past Sam toward the door, excusing himself as having something to do while Sam is trying to find words, which he could never have found anyway.  
*  
There follows a long heated argument between Sam and Dad the next day. Dean strangely feels himself detached; numb to the hateful words they throw at each other. He just watches his family falling apart before his eyes.  
*  
Dean is sitting in the Impala in the campus parking lot, deep in thought. There is a knock on the window on the driver’s side. Sam is there looking inside. Dean gets out of the car. “Hey bro.”  
Sam can’t seem to hold his excitement seeing his brother for the first time in almost a year. “I know you’ve been around for a couple of days now. Asking questions about me. You thought you’d manage to slip my radar?” Sam smiles at him. “You might as well have just come to me.”  
“I was not hiding, Sam. I was just not sure if you’d want to see me.”  
Sam looks Dean in the eyes and says with sincerity, “I missed you.” Dean avoids Sam’s gaze and looks down. “How’s Dad?” asked Sam.  
“He’s doing fine.”  
Sam nods, then turns toward the scenery in distance. It’s Dean’s turn to study Sam’s face in profile. His brother looks a little sturdier than Dean remembers when he last saw him. “You look good. Must be doing great.”  
Sam turns back to face his brother. There is no pain or anger in Dean’s eyes now; instead, Sam sees a brotherly affection so familiar to him and a hint of … Pride? Sam hopes so. So damn much.  
Dean sees the relief on Sam’s face and nods approvingly. It’s Dad who made unwilling Dean come to Stanford to check on Sam. Dean was afraid to see how much Sam enjoys his new life, how happy Sam has been without his family, without Dean. He knew it would hurt. But surprisingly it doesn’t. Dean sees a bright eyed young man, confident with himself finally getting the opportunity to exercise his abilities to the full extent for the first time in his life. Embracing his whole life energetically.  
Maybe this is what Sam’s life should have been all the time. Dean has never seen his brother so content with his life before. What Dean witnessed in the last few days reminded him of what he had always wanted for his little brother - happiness. Now Sam has it and Dean feels good.  
“It seems going to college is the best choice you ever made. It’s a damn good thing I didn’t try to hold you back.” Dean gives a grin that makes Sam’s face light up, as if the weight he had been carrying around is finally taken off.  
*  
Sam’s first few weeks at Stanford was a mix of day filled with exultation of being independent and night with gut-wrenching longing for his big brother. Once his daily activities were over, he found himself thinking of Dean. He dreamed about Dean, about hunting together, about Dean’s arms wrapping tightly around his waist, about Dean’s hot breath on his skin.  
When Sam was in town, Sam’s eyes would wander without him realizing it, searching for Dean. He hoped upon hope for his brother to appear on a corner.  
In all the years of their growing up closely together, seeking comfort in each other’s warm body, and their young incessant curiosity for sexuality compelling them to touch each other, there had been no love declared between them. Then Sam turned seventeen and they finally became lovers. Since then they had never been separated that far for that long.  
The first night Sam had his dorm room to himself, he indulged himself in the memories of his brother.  
His hand crawled to the inside of his own thigh and his thumb started slow circles. Sam couldn’t help let out a soft moan at the memory of how Dean had liked to have Sam straddle on his lap with thighs locked around his hips. In his mind, Sam pictured Dean drinking in the sight of Sam letting his clenched teeth parted as Dean’s thumbs ghosted over his nipples. Sam slid the other hand under his shirt and started pinching his nipples in turn. Another moan escaped his mouth as pleasure flared through his body. Sam arched his back, a move that use to always thrill his brother so much. Dean would pulled Sam’s heat-radiating young body flush against his more muscular one as Sam began to convulse, throwing off what little self-control he had. Sam remembered how the pain inside him morphed into an intense electric spark and melted into a pure bliss. Dean would wince at the sting of Sam’s nails digging into his shoulders, the only purchase Sam got while slamming down onto Dean’s pounding hardness, neither of them caring the obscene noises their sweat-slicked bodies were making in the quiet room. Stroking his own blood-heavy flesh, Sam’s breath got short and shallow as their breaths did in his memory - hot, rough, dog-like. Then Sam held his breath. In his mind’s eye, Dean thrust deep inside Sam, a final thrust to the molten heat. Sam felt himself turning into a writhing amorphous mass in his big brother’s arms. Sam heard Dean’s loud snarl and wave after wave of blinding pleasure ran through his body. Sam’s body jolted and shuddered with his brother’s come bathing his inside.  
On his dorm’s bed, Sam came hard in his hand, collapsing onto the rumpled sheets, his brother’s name on his lips.  
When Sam first sensed Dean’s presence on the campus, his heart leaped. He so badly needed to see Dean again, to talk to him, to beg for his forgiveness.  
*  
They take a short walk, both enjoying the other’s company, catching up with each other’s life. Then their conversation stops. After a moment’s hesitation, Dean asks a question that has kept nagging him. “You regret what we did, Sam?”  
Sam shakes his head firmly. “I never regretted that we became more than brothers.”  
“You sure?” Dean steals a glance at Sam.  
“Yeah.”  
Yes, Sam is sure. If it had not been for Dean reassuring him over and over with his strong embraces that Sam had been loved, cared for more than anything else, Sam would never have found the courage in himself to stand up to Dad, or the strength to go get his own life. Sam knows it’s totally unfair, but he loves Dean all the more because he let him go. No one else but Dean would have ever forgiven a selfish bastard like Sam for what he put Dean through.  
“No one will ever love me like you did, Dean. The way you protected me, gave me everything...” Sam continues without looking at his brother. “I could never love anyone as much as I love you.” And Dean believes him, his every word.  
*  
Dean remembers the last night they slept together. It was the day before Sam first told him he was going to college.  
That night Sam’s body wouldn’t respond to Dean’s touches. But Sam wanted to be touched; he snuggled up to Dean, burying his face in Dean’s neck. Dean pulled Sam over his body. He rubbed his brother’s back, trying to soothe Sam while he kept saying “I’m sorry”.  
“Shh, it’s okay.” Dean whispered into Sam’s ear, wondering what was going on in the kid’s mind. It was not unusual between them that either of them preferred to just lying together with gentle touches, and nothing more. Neither of them had ever complained.  
What was more perplexing was that the more Dean gave him comforting words, the more upset Sam seemed to get. “Hey, what’s your problem, man? Had a rough day?” Sam didn’t answer. But Dean convinced himself with the explanation that his little brother was in the middle of adolescence after all and that adolescents were supposed to suffer from every kind of triviality.  
Dean finally lulled himself into half sleep, when Sam slid up over Dean’s body and planted kisses on his left hand, over the ring Dean wore. Sam softly whispered “Forgive me.”  
*  
“You think I can see you again sometime soon?” Sam asks hopefully as they come back to the parking lot.  
Dean pauses and runs a hand over his face.  
Sam tilts his head. “Surely I can see you again?”  
“I-I don’t know.” Dean answers without looking at his brother.  
Sam frowns. “I sure hope we’ll keep in touch.”  
Dean opens the door to his car. “It’s just, Sam, I think it’s gonna take time till we’re just brothers again. Put everything behind us.”  
Sam chews on his lips. “Yes. Yeah, I can see what you mean.” Sam put his hand on the Impala’s roof, facing Dean over the door.  
“You take care of yourself, okay?” Dean pats on Sam’s hand, and Dean’s hand rests there for a good ten seconds, both of them saying nothing.  
Sam closes his eyes. “I liked your hand holding mine.”  
Dean raises his other hand and lightly strokes Sam’s face with the back of his fingers. “Next time we see each other, we’re gonna be brothers, okay?”  
“Yes.” Sam leans into the touch. “Next time.” He takes Dean’s hand in his, entwining their fingers as he draws their hands to his lips. “I promise.” Sam places his lips on Dean’s finger, where the ring once had been.  
Sam looks up at Dean’s face, the face which he has been in love with for as long as he could remember. They draw close for a kiss. Their lips meet over the door.  
It’s a slow and thorough kiss. They are trying to memorize everything; the taste, the feel. Their fingers trace every curve of the other’s face, and then go feel the hair. Even after their lips part, they remain forehead on forehead, hungrily taking in the scent on each other.  
Finally they part with a mutual long sigh. They look at each other for the last time.  
“Bye Sammy.” With that, Dean gets into the Impala and drives off.  
end


End file.
